Raven’s RV
The ongoing education and adventures of two rank newbie RVers

Last week, Don and I made the trek up to the Redding area. Here are some of the things we learned.

With tongue firmly in cheek:

1. If you don’t properly secure your tote full of small, loose items, it will fall over and the lid will fall off. All the small, loose items will fall out and the cats will be very entertained. You will create new and interesting ways of tying stuff down.

   The plastic, open-topped bucket that typically sits on your seat is no match for a winding mountain pass. It can handle going straight up a freeway, but not endless S-curves. You will be picking up maps and other junk for some while.

   If you do not lock the fridge, the first time you might get lucky. The second, time, however, the door will swing open in transit, spilling soda cans and sauce bottles across the aisle, there to roll around merrily. (Are we detecting a theme here?)

   This is actually quite exciting.
   

2. At least one soda can will be pierced, sending a thin line of pressurized, sticky liquid into, among other things, your battery charger.
   

3. The cats have figured out the difference between our switching on the generator and our switching on the engine. One will cause them all to immediately vanish, the other will cause them to yawn, stretch, or otherwise behave nonchalantly.
   

4. Certain Indian casinos will put up billboards on I-5 while failing to mention that their casino is 20 or more miles away and closer to highway 99. They will send you into the countryside blind for five miles before putting up a Reassuring Sign with an arrow, and will proceed to situate said Reassuring Signs at roughly 10-mile intervals. They will then reward you with a nickel-slot jackpot of $5, which will make your day.
   

5. Any second-hand satellite dish will come with a free complementary set of earwigs. Earwigs will be found in the rig at strategic points (like the shower) for several days thereafter.
   

6. Because the cab is so cramped, if you are wearing jeans just a little too small to allow free movement, you will eventually kick off your cup holder while contorting to get into your seat. This cup will, of course, come complete with soda and the soda can will be open.
   

7. Any driver’s-side cup holder that is kicked off will invariably cause a soda can to roll towards the brake pedal, foaming merrily, necessitating a valiant save from the copilot while barrelling down the road at 60mph.
   

8. Sometimes you can spend more money on gas looking for free internet than paid internet would have cost.
   

9. It is indeed possible to toilet-paper Interstate 5.
   

10. Not having working a/c in the cab really does matter.
    

11. Having a spare motorcycle battery is nice because you can run your laptop off it while dry-camping.
    

12. The RV handles reasonably well in strong winds. It is, according to Don, “busy” to drive rather than “scary.”
    

13. If you stay in a rest stop, the big rig next to you will run his generator on and off all night.

    It’s much, much louder than yours.

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